What am I doing again?

I went into polytechnic, pursuing an IT course because my interest was in technology and computers, er.. make that computer games.

So I'm out of poly now.

What am I doing again?

My skills suck. Seriously. All my projects screwed up and I feel like I let down all my team mates that were with me.

So I conclude I am actually one of the lazy asses that didn't manage to do anything right.

T_T

Career..

I don't communicate easily with people so sales marketing is kind of out.

Gah actually no need to think this is more or less the best industry I can work in already. I just need to actually do something.

WTF man. I just sat around and watched everyone else do great stuff while I played Oblivion (which I don't even want to play now, since its starting to be a grind) [more than 150hrs on that lame shit and I didn't even complete the story, since I've spent it all on other quests and that lame x5 times slower exp rate]

I can't blame it on others influence.. Even though they look slack and do nothing, but things still appear.. or wait they just get other people to do it for them. Or something.

I find that I'm looking for people to learn from, to be inspired from, to be friends with. But those people with the real talent, I cannot find. Or, I can't catch up with them. Yes, I can't because I think its too hard and I can't be bothered.

Why so much time into training in games? I can't even find the pros to play with to turn pro. Can I even turn pro?

What about drumming? Guitar? ...

I'm going into the army soon. Will the people there influence me?

That's for sure, but how much is up to me, right? Negligible, will be nice.

Set my goals straight and work towards it, and not "heck care" everything.

So I've not been bothered with what is important, huh.

Not being bothered plus lazy is a bad combination when it comes to important things.

Tussle

He walked into my space, and started to take over my friends and possessions, all with a sly grin on his face. I left the area soon, not willing to stand him any more. Walked down a path and something from out of a game told me that everything was going back to normal. It was something like, Possessions: 100% yours (in my colour, like in those RTS games) Suddenly it turned to his colour. He appeared, and I grabbed him by the neck. I wanted not to fight, but this was too much. We tussled and rolled on a snow covered plain. I won by bashing his head against the ground and knocked him out. I had the intent to kill. I stared at him laying there. I knew he wasn't dead, but I didn't want to kill him anymore. Then a group of plain clothes police like people came and helped him up. At first I thought by not killing him it would just end. But no, he still pointed the finger at me for assaulting him. There was no arrest, because I woke up.

Second dream during the short nap, before going to school. This is a slightly biased and twisted account of things that actually happened. I guess this dream came up due to recent events.

It isn't actually totally his fault. Like I said, this dream is super biased. But its like, instinct, sort of reason formed from nowhere so you have a reason to fight.

Anyway, I had deaths occur in my dreams before. To have someone die, it means a bit like, to totally remove him from your life. I guess I almost wanted to totally remove the person, but something held back?

I applied for CMU

We got called into a meeting where everyone were checking the results of their application to CMU. Wing Yi was there and Melvin was very happy to see her. She had platinum ash or gold-ish hair, longer than usual. I couldn't make out any other faces at first, but there was a bunch of us.

Then some guy passed me my file with a big F scribbled on the top. My application to CMU failed. Why? My computer specs were too lousy. I was like WTF. They needed it to be Pentium 4 and above. I started to argue how my AMD Athlon XP was on par with it. Then Tedo told me to go appeal. I wasn't sure how to appeal, so he went on to say that there's this email system for appeals.

So I rushed off to appeal. I ran down some generic hallway until JY caught up with me and handed me my file that I didn't take. It didn't have the F on it as clearly as I saw it earlier. Then we got into some printing area with this industry sized printer. We started printing like mad; this printer had some turbo boost where you can apparently print more pages than the computer can detect. Kind of like cheating the amount of paper printed to get more print out of our paper. The printer uses roll fed paper. Someone gave me some curved cutter to cut the paper. I stood there wondering and then trying a way on some loose paper to cut it straight.

Then I woke up confused.

Actually I don't know if it was CMU. I saw Wing Yi so I assumed. Then there's Tedo. I think I was actually talking about my current computer specs which is an Athlon 64, but I usually confuse the two anyway, since I hardly kept up with computers during the time before I got this computer and my older one. Er, we should have been looking for a computer lab, but we went to print stuff? Anyway those printers can cut the paper automatically when they finish printing.

It's quite scary actually. Who wants to fail for anything, even if it is a stupid reason. Considering I'm heading down later to talk to Mr Quah about my Flash module. I don't want to fail! Seriously! Its a good thing the dream woke me up though, if not I may end up oversleeping, since I slept at 530am. Why so late? I don't know.

I don't want to fail Flash..

Overnight Combo Tour

Tour just ended today, after visiting many locations to show my stuff, lol. No la, actually just back to back overnight sessions. First Eden's place for some mahjong and SSBM. It's really hard to actually win at mahjong when you don't know exactly the best pattern to win, given your hand. Lost $6 T_T. But all in good fun, and it traded off because I won in SSBM, hah. Marth and Link own. At least mine do because I suck at the rest. :S

Some catch up time with ex-neighbours and gang: Lester, Andee, Dalton, Joey, and already mentioned Eden.

Random purchase for fun, the tiramisu ice cream was not bad. Can't remember the brand, but if I see it again I'll edit this post or post another one about it. You can get it from any NTUC Fairprice, though.

For breakfast, the bagel from Macdonalds is abit love-hate type. The bread is so hard, and currently with an ulcer on my tongue and the wall of my mouth rubbed sore due to the wisdom tooth, that's not being very helpful. But the omelette is really cool, filled with onions and tomatoes. Not easy to find healthier food, good thing the fast food chains are trying a bit. I know, they aren't exactly healthy.. but healthier nonetheless?

Then took a break and went down to Tedo's place for hardcore SF3 battles. Zai people JY and then Melvin came down too despite all the postponing nonsense due to last minute interviews from MOE. >.>

Apparently I unlocked some secret hidden power somewhere and suddenly Tedo and JY couldn't win my Remy, Ryu, Ken.. >.>

Then it peaked with crazy parries! First parrying JY's Gouki's triple hit fireball plus his low forward into my own low forward fireball.. If I was less shocked I probably do a super combo. Lol Can't remember who I was using. Then parrying all off Mel's Ibuki's Super Shuriken attack. That was like o.O Spam parry ftw!

Halfway it got traded to Tedo when the "real game" started. Lol wth "real mens' game". Loser drink! Absolut Vodka peach. I lost every darn match until my alcohol limit ran out (3-4 shots? small shots? not sure). Damn. So did JY, though he opted for more drinks lol.

I still managed to win a few matches after recovering from the alcohol though ^^

Went for breakfast at one of the coffee shops in Toa Payoh central. The duck rice recommended by Tedo was not bad. But too bad they ripped us off, if not I'll recommend it too. $5 for a standard plate? Just because they mixed it together and decided to give us half a duck on a plate instead of 4 separate standard duck rice. Bah. The drinks was also wth. A tiny cup (probably like what, half a can. Like those in Korea) of Milo, Horlicks or Tea for $1.10 They really "cheat little kids money" sia.

And my drumming speed is really slow and inaccurate. ORZ. Maybe I should just stop and train real guitar. Did I say this before?

Thus ends the OCT07. I think it was pretty worth it. But work restarts..

I think it's good mentioning names of your friends on the blog. Helps you remember the good stuff you had together and keeps you from being a selfish bastard.

Went out with Hanz, Gillian and Melvin for an objective filled day. All went to buy their stuff: Guitar Amp, Band tees, and drum sticks. I just tagged along to look see, play a bit of Drum mania and eat.

My drumming skills still suck. Not fast enough to go from hi-hat to crash. I play almost any lvl song in dtxmania on the keyboard with 2 fingers only, but get stuck with lvl 30 songs on the real DM machine, even on autobass. Considering whether to actually go train up or just leave it and train, guitar. As in real guitar.

Recently eating a lot though. 4 meals a day. Today had the wan tan mee at Sunshine Plaza. Really really worth it. Dinner also eat out, KFC again. Can't get enough of the bandito pockett. Why am I eating? Growing? Still missing the height I want, but its been so long. 2nd growth spurt? ^^

Why does everyone make a fuss about having a partner? It's ok if you have one, but just having normal friends will do too. A balanced mix of both guy and girl friends will be great.

Chinese New Year

Didn't go as badly as I thought it will. Sometimes thinking too much is bad.

Note to those who keep to yourself: don't do so and then complain no one talks to you.

CNY itself was a standard affair. Reunion dinner, visiting, collecting red packets.

Tried out my camera abit more. Still need to tweak the settings.. Either getting a lot of noise or too much blur. For those techies its a Canon A620. Won't be showing any photos on this blog though. Will keep low profile until my next and hopefully permanent name.

lost-in-transit

Never was my intention to stop blogging, but I still haven't found a new identity. So thus this blog.

Blogs are good -- You express yourself, talk about things people may not talk about in person, and others can read them when they are ready.

Where do you start finding yourself?